Never mind, I'm Fine, It's Okay

Even in my dismay

I heard myself say

“Never mind, I’m fine, it’s okay.”

As my mind struggled to make up reasons

Just so it could justify your actions

Ah, how I wish my heart is closer to my brain

Because my mind’s effort to comfort

  was definitely in vain

For even after a myriad of excuses I fabricate

I still feel forlorn and desolate

Yes, I was hurt, I felt pain

But no, I refuse to complain

Of course I wasn’t surprised

When you earnestly apologized

Told me you never meant for things to be that way

You promised next time shall be a better day

That was when I audibly say

“Never mind, I’m fine, it’s okay.”

Who was I trying to console?

Was it you, or my wistful soul?

Despite the fact that I became melancholy

I told myself “Oh Rachel, please be jolly,

Your friend said sorry, isn’t that enough already?
Stop it girl, this is not you, honey.”

I know it’s childish for me to pout

About something my mind has properly reason out

But I can’t help myself from feeling the way that I do

Perhaps other people would feel the same way too

They say time can heal

I hope what they say is real

So that one day I could finally say

“Never mind, I’m fine, it’s okay.”

And meant it in every way

Dear friend, I hope you’ll never know about this

About the day that my feelings went amiss

   because of you, yet you did not notice

Relax pal, it’s not because you’re oblivious

I did my best to make sure it’s not obvious

I refuse to let you know

Because we're friends 

   and a friend is better than a foe, no?

I’ll be damned if I ever let my disposition show

Which is why I’m letting my emotions flow

In this sad hopeless poem

None will ever bother to fathom